Here I am trying to make the best of my time off, and instead, I end up becoming completely depressed by my monthly budget. I have received my payslip today and done my sums, and yet another month I am barely able to make ends meet.

It seems that this is not uncommon amongst homeowners - - > POVERTY

I am in a most unfortunate situation. I have only myself to blame - for simply NOT being selfish enough…

- I am paid a wage that is not commensurate with the role I am in (this has been the case for at least the last three years).
- I am currently single and alone in a mortgaged property (my only financial aid is 25% off Council Tax)
- I get no further financial assistance in any area of my life other than council tax.
- I am not entitled to any benefits even though I live pretty much on the bread line for my situation month on month; despite the years of contributions I have accrued…

It would appear that my options are a little limited, I can do one of the following to get something else by way of support -

- I can rob a bank and get away with it
- I can actually marry a Russian Bride, to then qualify for some benefit or other?
- I can go loopy and get myself section 13′d indefinitley (free meals and medication for life!!)
- I can top myself

or on a more positive note.

- I can sell the house and fall off the property ladder, possibly never to return
- Get rid of my car, and sacrifice what few hobbies that enables me to have
- Resign from my current job and find some employer willing to pay me a wage more fitting to my role

I know this is a harsh post, but I just fall into a demographic that simply isn’t catered for. I pay for everyone else in hardship through my taxes and can expect little or no support in return. I have searched painfully on the net. There simply are no support groups for someone in my position, unless I am divorced or widowed, have AIDS or get someone up the duff!!!!

I live alone and have to cope with -

Income Tax, Council Tax, Water Rates, Gas, Electricity, TV License, Road Fund Tax, Insurance for car and house, phone bills, life insurance, mortgage, car loan

… not to mention surviving until next payday.

It is a sad thing for this government or anyone to assume because I earn within the 22 percentile for income tax, that I simply can’t be vulnerable?

Best I can do, is use my time off - to stay in, because I can’t afford to socialise, and I can’t afford to go on holiday - I believe this would be classed as social exclusion would it not?

All because I am single and have lost all engagement not just in my job but in life as well. I wouldn’t have struggled on through school for any qualifications if I knew this was the kind of future I could look forward to.

Let me just say that I am single because I choose to be, the only companionship I want is outside my grasp because of circumstance, and also because I know for a fact they don’t feel the same way for me.

I have always been generous in my life and with the people around me. Trouble is there is no return on my give any more. At least that is my perception. I am sick and tired of contsantly having to be nice.

At this present moment in time I am more stressed out than a tension cable on a suspension bridge that is about to snap.

- - Sorry to anyone out there than gets brought down by reading this, I just needed a good sound off…but

What is this world coming to if a man feeling vulnerable and living alone can’t cry out in the slightest hope someone out there can help?

There are times I no longer feel like a human being.

I feel so out of confidence with the current government (no matter of party affiliation) that even if the Prime Minister himself read this blog, he would simply laugh at me.

How can I respect myself, when the I don’t feel the nation as a whole as any respect for the common man?

….sigh it’s all questions and despair. I am going to stop now before the cable actually does snap…(runs in search of some chamomile)…

I could really use a good hug right now

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