It won’t be the first time I have said it. It won’t be the last. I am stuck in a bit of a rut…

Little by little I edge my way closer to it’s boundary; but still within this rut I lie. One of the biggest boundaries in my way, is my pride. I can’t stand asking anyone else for help. I have been independant and self sufficient for over 5 years now. The last thing I want to do is give that up. If I do, I fail as an adult. That’s just the way I see it.

Don’t misunderstand what I say here. I am of strong mind and body, it’s just my spirit that is a little weak these days. I just can’t strike the right balance. Maybe it’s because I am always on my own. That I don’t have a partner - maybe single-dom isn’t such a good idea after all?

After a hard day at work the last thing I want to do, is come home to an empty house. however, it is my lot at the moment. There was once upon a time a person, I thought could fill that void, but she was playing a game with stakes too high for me to muster - and so I have distanced myself to nothing more than friends.

In need of a new map…or at least a clue as to where I am going. Sometimes mystery can be an adventure! But when you don’t have any direction it can easily turn into a nightmare. In need of company might be a simple solution - in fact I am beginning to think this post should be entitled “Currently Alone and feeling it”…but that could be misunderstood in a lot of inappriopriate ways, so I will stick with what I have put…

I’ve done well over the past year, I have transformed my terrible bouts of depression into nothing more than the odd explosion of loneliness. I can’t remember the last time I cuddled up with someone in front of the telly? Trouble is in today’s world you have to be a sales person in order to get any interest from the opposite sex. There are also so many assumptions, like if you actually hold a conversation they automatically assume you want to get into the sack with them straight away?! So, the defences go straight up. It’s a dog eat dog world out there….and the more I think about it. The less likley it appears that I will meet my Miss Right!

Currently listening to:- The only heartbeat in my life right now, my own.

Truth be told. If you had some special power, which would you be - A Super Hero, or a Side-Kick? And Why?

Morning everyone! As I have booked a couple of days leave from work I thought I would take advantage and have a lie in, so I have literally just got up in the last half an hour I feel more rested than I have in a long time, but then again; I haven’t had too many early nights this week at all.

Anyways, I got up and made some breakfast and as I look outside the back window what do I see? OMG!! It’s trying to snow! Here’s me thinking “won’t be long till Spring is here”, and I see snow outside. Luckily it’s not sticking; and I don’t want it too, as I have some “outside” plans for later in the week.

Well - I must dash now, got lot’s of thinking to do.

…Went to band practice tonight, had a good session and all that, Emma showed off her “uber” sound system in the car, subwoofer and all that jazz….I now know what I want for Christmas! …..(pauses for full comedic effect)…. Can’t wait to deck out my car with a half decent sound system; it’s one of the only let downs my car has really, at least it’s pretty much still brand new!

Don’t think I want to give my car the full “Chav-over” with bright under chassis LEDS and lowered wheel arches….there can be too much bling you know! It’ll be fun trying to find the middle ground though

I’m off to chill for the rest of this evening. Catch y’all later!

You know. I “Could” carry on with the politically bent flavour of my recent posts by going on about the Government plans to increase Council Tax….but I am simply not going to waste my breathe but…..(since I have started)….. If the Government continue down such a road, I would like a new requirement brought in that makes cost of living pay rises in the employment sector compulsory in order to fit in with any and all taxation rises. Unfortunatley the world doesn’t work like that.

Last cost of living pay rise I got last year, was the first of it’s kind in over 4 years! So, as you can imagine from a fiscal point of view I am still playing catch-up. I’d like to say “Thanks” to the government for effectivley making that catch-up harder.

After doing my sums it puts me about £30 worse off a year, but when you consider I am on my own, paying for a mortgage, utilities and everything. To me £30 is a lot of money, and for the salary I earn it shouldn’t - just goes to show what a screwed up world we live in. When someone like me get’s paid a halfway decent wage, but at the end of the day has precious little to show for it.

Bills, bills and more bills….If it’s not utilities it’s Tax, or TV Licence, or Road Fund Tax, or god knows what else might be lurking on the door mat in a brown envelope.

The only time I get to go out on the town now, is if I get a bumper pay out due to overtime, or a bonus. All this bloody ***TAX*** in our lives takes all of the drive and enjoyment out of my life and my job. I work bloody hard so that the government can cream even more out of me. Trouble is we will never get an honest explanation of just exactly where ALL this TAX revenue is going.

It makes me laugh, how some charities take pride in quoting that it takes just £1 a week to keep a village water supply going - And yet my own personal water-meter rate is still upwards of £20 a month! And they will still have the gaul to declare a drought this year, because we simply haven’t had enough rain!

Instead of sorting out all of the wasted money on Mis-management in the governement, and I cite the clear waste as part of Project Stonehenge here, 23 Million Pounds down the drain! They want more! This time it’s council tax, on the up. watch out for another attack on fuel duties with rising oil prices, and also watch out income tax!

The sad thing for me is, most of the tax I pay in my life, I won’t see any return on.

I use private dental cover now (which I believe the goverment should give me tax credits against my National Insurance for) because you simply can’t get an NHS Dentist these days!! plus I haven’t been to hospital since I was a child (over ten years) - so why should I continue paying the rate of National Insurance I do? It is completely unfair on those that don’t use the system….

Plus by the time I reach retirement age, which at this rate could be over seventy if certain parties have their way, the pension won’t exist anyway, or is at least unlikley to.

What are Tony’s Cronies going to come up with next huh?

EDIT - It would appear to me, with my limited options, the only way for me to get anything out of the system, is to give up my house, go on the streets - become a chav, lose my job; become a druggy and then rehabilitate myself through a random clinic before the government will even notice that I exist at at all, unless your a serious criminal, an ethnic minority or on the Cabinet - you may as well not exist at all…..

The British government’s Department for Transport announced at the end of July 2005 that the estimated cost of the Stonehenge tunnel scheme has now risen to approximately 500 million pounds (getting on for 900 million US dollars)… and is still rising! That whopping figure makes it almost inconceivable that the tunnel scheme will now go ahead.

In the light of that announcement, plans for a new 57 million pound (100 million US dollar) visitor centre were also turned down. However, the plans are likely to be resubmitted soon.

Together, the tunnel highway scheme and the visitor centre plan are known as The Stonehenge Project. They have been championed enthusiastically by the Department for Transport’s Highways Agency (the UK government department charged with building and maintaining highways) and English Heritage (the UK government department supposedly responsible for protecting such historical places as Stonehenge).

No-one else is supporting the Stonehenge Project with any enthusiasm; the whole plan is rapidly unravelling.

So what now?

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2. Stonehenge - the road ahead?

In the light of this confusion, the Highways Agency announced five new options for Stonehenge at the end of January 2006. On closer inspection, these are four old options that have previously been rejected, plus a minor tweaking of the existing road that would increase traffic pressure for a new road through the World Heritage Site at some point in the future.

Briefly, the “new” options are:

a) The current tunnel scheme - way out of contention now because of its high, 500 million pound cost. But many groups (including Save Stonehenge!) opposed it anyway because of its destructive impact on the overall World Heritage Site.

b and c) Highways to either the north or the south of the stone circle, but passing mostly at surface level across the World Heritage Site. Universally opposed because they would be incredibly intrusive into the peace of the Stonehenge landscape. There was worldwide press coverage — from India to Australia — when the British bird conservation organization, RSPB, revealed that two of the DfT’s old/new options would destroy nesting and roosting sites of the stone curlew bird, which has only two UK strongholds. RSPB said these plans would also harm prospects for more than 25 other bird species and 14 butterfly species.

d) Cut-and-cover tunnel: This would be a crude highway gouged through the ancient landscape with a roof built on top. Most of you will remember that this was the original plan for Stonehenge until it was dropped in 2002. Lord Kennet, former British environment minister and campaigner for Stonehenge, memorably noted this option would be “Barbaric. No other country in the world would contemplate treating a site which is a world icon in such a way.” The British government itself conceded that the cut-and-cover tunnel was massively destructive when it dropped that plan in December 2002. Now it appears to be considering bringing it back!

e) A “partial solution”: This involves upgrading roundabouts on the current A303 highway at either of the World Heritage Site. There is no good reason for doing this; it will simply increase pressure to build a highway (options a-d) through the World Heritage Site at some point in the future.

Twelve groups representing environmental, archaeological, and transport interests damned the new proposals within hours of their announcement (The National Trust, CPRE, RSPB, Friends of the Earth, ICOMOS-UK, Council for British Archaeology, Rescue - British Archaeological Trust, Pagan Federation UK, Stonehenge Alliance, Save Stonehenge, Ancient Sacred Landscapes Network, Wiltshire Archaeological and Natural Heritage Society).

Mike Birkin of Friends of the Earth UK summed up the reactions of Stonehenge campaigners: “The choices on the table are not new and they are still not acceptable. The choice seems to be between damaging this valuable World Heritage Site now or damaging it later.”

For more information about what the 12 groups said, see:
http://www.savestonehenge.org.uk/ssnr240106.html

Since then, questions asked in the British Parliament by Salisbury MP (and former roads minister) Robert Key reveal that, between them, the Highways Agency and English Heritage have squandered a scandalous 23 million pounds of taxpayers’ money on their “Stonehenge Project” since 2000 — with absolutely no visible progress and no public benefit.

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If you want to complain to these proposals then do the following:-

Please write a letter of opposition, stating that none of the above options is acceptable!

Please send your oppositions by ***24 APRIL 2006*** to:

The Stonehenge Project
Highways Agency Zone 2/26-H
Temple Quay House
2 The Square
Temple Quay
BRISTOL
BS1 6HA
UK

…Finally those of you who read this blog regularly may wonder why I am so bothered about something like this? Well, if you’re curious then read the first poem I ever published here >>

Stonehenge

Within the stone circle I do sit.
Ancient harmonies surround my soul
Of forgotten warriors and sages grown old
The deeds of men who have gone before
filling these stones with knowledge and lore
My mind is calm as I reach within.
To focus on where I begin:
This is a place of great respect
Where man and beast can both reflect.
On life’s long journey through this age
Helping each to turn the page,
In so doing this place becomes:
A doorway, a window and a bridge,
A focus of energy, A point of light,
Such that now doth enter my sight.
This was Merlin’s philosophy
Engrained in each stone;
The story of what was,
The story of what will be.
Just open your eyes and you will see.

“Trust should never be an assumed quality. Nor should it be questioned by someone who hasn’t earned it in the first place.”

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