In need of a new map…
Posted by: cyberevolution in General, tags: General, Karma, Ticking OverIt won’t be the first time I have said it. It won’t be the last. I am stuck in a bit of a rut…
Little by little I edge my way closer to it’s boundary; but still within this rut I lie. One of the biggest boundaries in my way, is my pride. I can’t stand asking anyone else for help. I have been independant and self sufficient for over 5 years now. The last thing I want to do is give that up. If I do, I fail as an adult. That’s just the way I see it.
Don’t misunderstand what I say here. I am of strong mind and body, it’s just my spirit that is a little weak these days. I just can’t strike the right balance. Maybe it’s because I am always on my own. That I don’t have a partner - maybe single-dom isn’t such a good idea after all?
After a hard day at work the last thing I want to do, is come home to an empty house. however, it is my lot at the moment. There was once upon a time a person, I thought could fill that void, but she was playing a game with stakes too high for me to muster - and so I have distanced myself to nothing more than friends.
In need of a new map…or at least a clue as to where I am going. Sometimes mystery can be an adventure! But when you don’t have any direction it can easily turn into a nightmare. In need of company might be a simple solution - in fact I am beginning to think this post should be entitled “Currently Alone and feeling it”…but that could be misunderstood in a lot of inappriopriate ways, so I will stick with what I have put…
I’ve done well over the past year, I have transformed my terrible bouts of depression into nothing more than the odd explosion of loneliness. I can’t remember the last time I cuddled up with someone in front of the telly? Trouble is in today’s world you have to be a sales person in order to get any interest from the opposite sex. There are also so many assumptions, like if you actually hold a conversation they automatically assume you want to get into the sack with them straight away?! So, the defences go straight up. It’s a dog eat dog world out there….and the more I think about it. The less likley it appears that I will meet my Miss Right!
Currently listening to:- The only heartbeat in my life right now, my own.
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