A woman came on the line and asked what number I was calling from. I said “I’m afraid I don’t know. I can check if you give me a minute”. She immediately switched into ‘Patronising mode’ and started talking like a robot: “I-cannot-progess-this-call-any-further-without-a-phone-number etc etc—–”. She then continued to read off the NHS Patronising Crib Sheet. Eventually through gritted teeth I supplied my number and the conversation finally got going. She asked me what was wrong with my daughter so I started to explain. After i’d spoken about 3 words she butted in with the “can i just stop you there”….then theirs a pause with muffled typing in the background….and then she says “continue”. Then I say another 3 words and she says “can i just stop you there”….another pause + muffled typing….”continue” . After 5 minutes of listening to this patronising twat of a women she told me a doctor would call me back. By now my stress levels were so high I was going to call myself an ambulance!

10 minutes passed and a doctor called me. Ring ring…ring ring…. I picked up the phone “Hello”. Response is “##### #### ####”. The NHS had clearly supplied the standard out-of-hours asian doctor who can barely speak a word of english. Eventually I managed to work out that he wants to know what the problem is….so i give a brief but concise overview. After a short pause I get a barely legible response “tek er to de walk in center”. What the f*ck ! I’ve just phoned the emergency doctor to get my daughter the urgent appointment she needs and avoid waiting for 6 f*cking hours in the walk-in-centre. What a f*cking disgrace. This government take a huge chunk of my wages every month in tax for the NHS….and this is what I get. I’m not surprised that attacks on NHS staff are so high…..your all a bunch of useless cunts. I’ve only had to deal with you over the phone and I want to kick the f*ck out of you. This is a f*cking national disgrace. For those people out there who big up the NHS and refer to nurses and doctors as angels; f*cking wake up to yourself. They are a bunch of lazy layabouts providing a piss poor service and wasting hard working taxpayers money. If I ever see a doctor on fire I will piss on him….but not enough to put the fire out. F*cking wankers the lot of em.